A new week leads us to the fifth of seven questions posed by The Rev. Dr. Gary Nicolosi in his article Seven Questions Every Church Should Ask Itself. If you would like to read his entire article, you may do so by clicking here: Seven Questions for Your Parish
The fifth question: What issues does our church need to face within the next year so that five years from now, we won’t have to say, “We wish we had…”
Nicolosi comments on his question: “This question creates a sense of urgency. It is no secret that demographic trends are not favorable to the church and that many of our parishes are living on borrowed time. And yet, we believe in a God of resurrection. What if we began to act as communities of resurrection–faithful and fearless, willing to risk and try some new things, putting our emphasis on ministry and not maintenance, and seriously engaging a new generation that does not sing the Lord’s song as we do? Could we reverse the decline? I don’t know, but isn’t it worth a try?”
This is a challenging question for at first Nicolosi seems to be focusing on the individual parish but his comment, as I read it, seems to look at the larger structures of the Church (denominations, judicatories, etc.) So, I think I will try and offer my answer in two ways: first for the parish and second for a diocese in the Episcopal Church.
Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, often uses a quote that I am very fond of: “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” Local parishes in their quest to be relevant often forget to stay focused on the "main thing": Making Disciples.
How is that accomplished?
I believe there are four main ingredients to keeping a parish focused on the “main thing.”
- Spiritually Uplifting Worship – it is at the center of all we do
- Engaging and Creative Christian Formation – disciples are made not born.
- A Comprehensive Stewardship Ministry – everything I do after I say I believe
- Prophetic Outreach – reaching out to those locally, nationally, and internationally
My experience is that any parish which is about the task of carrying out those four cornerstones with integrity and excellence will in fact grow and produce fruit worthy of the Kingdom of God
There in lies the rub and the first issue that must be faced by every congregation: What do we do in the Church with Controllers or Troublemakers who have no interest in "the main thing"?
In the Church there is no place for Controllers. Period. Bill Easum in his wonderful book Sacred Cows Make Gourmet Burgers writes: “The life and spirit of established churches is being drained by mean-spirited people called Controllers. Controllers are those leaders who withhold permission or make it difficult for new ministries to start. Control and abuse of power and authority have no place in the Body of Christ. It is time for us to either convert or neutralize the Controllers” (Sacred Cows, page 31).
Can I hear the Congregation say, “AMEN”!
Later on in his chapter about Controllers, Bill reflects: “Every church I have worked with as a consultant has been filled with good people who care about each other. That is their strength; it is also their weakness. They are so good they will put up with people that no one else on earth will put up with. Because of their goodness, they attract a handful of neurotic, mean-spirited, self-centered people who will do everything in their power to control what happens in the church. When the church finally gets fed up with them and does something they do not like, over their heated protest, they get mad and leave the church. Almost every church that begins to grow after a long-term decline experiences someone storming out of the church during the transition” (Sacred Cows, page 32.)
In Bill’s mind there are all sorts of Controllers: those who suffer from the small church syndrome; the smoke screeners; people who confuse ministry with making decisions; confusing accountability with control; uniformity for unity; representative democracy with the Body of Christ; those who are so afraid of the unknown they resist any change until they become white-knuckled. But Easum is at his best when he writes:
“Some people must be in control of everything in order to be Somebody. These are the real Controllers. They enjoy being big fish in a little pond. Usually they are against anything that they do not think of first of that does not serve their personal needs…Their insatiable desire for control is a natural trait for their generation since they have been in control of almost everything in society and the church. These are good individuals, who for the most part not only built their churches, but also built much of the twentieth-century world. They are the generations that brought “entitlement” to our society. As long as they live, they will consider themselves entitled to run this country and “their” church. Fortunately, only a few Controllers exist in each church. Unfortunately, they speak loudly and carry a big stick” (Sacred Cows, page 35-36)
Anybody in your parish come to your mind when reading Bill’s words?
Over the past six months, I have had the time to critically reflect on this issue and I am once again amazed at all that the Bible has to say about how to deal with Controllers and Troublemakers. For example, Saint Paul
Jesus was perhaps a bit more pastoral than our brother Paul but none the less spoke with authority on this issue, “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector” (Matthew 18:15-17). Ouch!!
Local congregations have no time for dealing with Controllers for they take precious energy away from "the main thing”. The Controllers in your church and in mine must be confronted, encouraged to change from selfish ways, and if not - persuaded to find solace in some other community more suited to their personality and desires. If we leaders in the Church do not have the stomach for such ministry, we have the great potential of losing and running off the people who truly need to be in our worship, education offerings and ministries.
The choice is ours to make. With God’s help, the people of God will make the right choice in dealing with the Controllers of our parishes.
Love One Another - Brian
AMEN.
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