The Alternative to the "Ready-Set-Relax" Program

A week ago Monday, an annual ritual (of sorts) was forced upon the members of the Hudson community. The annual "Ready-Set-Relax" activity sponsored by Hudson’s Community First in conjunction with the Hudson City School District, Western Reserve Academy, Hudson Montessori School, Seton Catholic, HCER and over 30 youth-related Hudson organizations stresses no homework and no after school activities promoting the opportunity to spend more time with your family for one night during the school year. Did you comprehend that last part? Our community leaders now believe that we have to actually schedule a night where nothing happens in this town giving families a ‘break’ from the hectic after school activity pace.

Are you kidding me?

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From very limited research, I have gleaned that the Ready-Set-Relax project began in Ridgefield, New Jersey in March of 2002.  In a 2003 article for TIME Magazine, Garland Allen, director of wellness for Ridgewood schools, stated, "We're creating a generation that's overscheduled by parents, over tested by teachers and over trained by coaches.” The concept was straightforward. Elementary and middle schools would not assign homework. Youth sports teams would cancel practice. Clubs and tutors would schedule no meetings or lessons. And parents would come home from work in time to have dinner with their kids and focus on family matters.

I remember like it was yesterday when the leaders of the Hudson program came to the monthly Ministerial meeting seven years ago to present their plans and ask for our support. I listened intently amazed at what I was hearing and after pleasant dialogue I raised my hand and asked, “Why do we need to set aside a specific night of the year when our faith traditions all speak of Sabbath and the weekly observance of rest?” You thought I had said something negative about Jesus’ mother! Realizing I was out numbered. I kept the rest of my opinions to myself. No longer.

The Overscheduled Child.com

It is a joke and embarrassment that our culture now has to schedule a set time to “Relax.” This obsession with over scheduling and over commitment began in the 1980’s when sociologists said structured activities would prevent juvenile delinquency and keep kids safe. Then came globalization and the experts in education believed kids in US schools needed to work harder to compete. Then came big time sports contracts and the idolization of athletics that have led to the false belief that every kid is a superstar and travel soccer and baseball teams are the way to advance to the big time. The result: a cottage industry of organized after-school pursuits — lessons and tutors and clubs and teams — to baby-sit and enrich.

“Thanks to overzealous parents, things got out of hand, says William Doherty, a University of Minnesota professor of marriage and family therapy. ‘Adult notions of hyper-competition and over scheduling have created a culture of parenting that's more akin to product development, and it's robbing families of time together,’ he theorizes, adding, ‘Frantic families equal fragile families.’ (TIME Magazine, October 2002). Sound like your house?

Okay…. Stop…. Let’s ask some questions.

Are any residents in Hudson, who support “Ready-Set-Relax”, members of a faith community or congregation in town? If so, does your church/synagogue/mosque value any teachings on the tradition of Sabbath? Are you aware of them? If you are part of a religious community that believes in the Sabbath, why are you not following the traditions and teachings of your faith? Why must we recreate a “sacred time” within the life of unceasing labor that, in reality, already exists?

I agree that the culture is over scheduled, over worked, and over trained. In many ways it is our own fault for running after false gods thinking that we will find fame, fortune and happiness. But, as we have witnessed, in all but a few cases, this relentless pursuit and madness has only driven the society into further stress, depression, injury and loss.

There is another way, available to all of us, regardless of our spiritual tradition.

Welcome to the Sabbath ordained by the Creator of all things long before the heavens were created. The Sabbath is a weekly time of rest, delight and renewal that can become a refuge for our souls. Because of our culture’s relentless busyness, we have lost the rhythm, the natural rhythm of work and rest.

Wayne Muller in his brilliant book, Sabbath Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest, writes, “All life requires a rhythm of rest. There is a rhythm in our waking activity and in the body’s need for sleep. There is a rhythm in the way the day dissolves into night and night into morning, there is a rhythm as the active growth of spring and summer is quieted by the necessary dormancy of fall and winter. There is a tidal rhythm, a deep, eternal conversation between the land and the great sea. In our bodies, the heart perceptibly rests after each life-giving beat; the lungs rest between the exhale and inhale” (page 1).

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I think the American culture has lost this essential rhythm believing that actions and accomplishments are better than rest. When did our society completely sell out to the notion that doing something – anything – is better than doing nothing? Muller: “Because we do not rest, we lose our way. We miss the compass points that would show us where to go, we bypass nourishment that would give us succor. We miss the quiet that would give us wisdom. We miss the joy and love born of effortless delight. Poisoned by this hypnotic belief that good things come only through unceasing determination and tireless effort, we can never truly rest. And for the want of rest, our lives are in danger” (page 1).

In my readings for this post, I discovered that the Chinese pictograph for “busy” is composed of two characters: heart and killing.

What are we to do?

Keri Wyatt Kent is a speaker and author of seven books, including Rest: Living In Sabbath Simplicity. Below, are eight suggestions that the author believes can be first steps to the establishment of a regular Sabbath in your life.

1.      Assess the current pace of your life: How many things have you said yes to that you should not have? While you cannot off-load your job or your children (as tempting as that may be), are there extra things you have volunteered for that you should not have? Have you signed your kids up for too many activities, so that you spend hours each day driving them around or managing their schedules? Maybe you need to cut back on the things you’re doing during the week, in order to make Sundays a bit less hectic.

2.      Say no. We often say “yes” because we think it is the nicer thing to say, or we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. But every time you say “yes,” you’ve automatically said “no” to other things—and that sometimes includes being able to have a day to rest. And don’t let your kids be in five activities just because they want to. Set loving limits so that they have some downtime.

3.      Do a little planning. Some of us are naturally planners, others are more spontaneous. But in order to have a day of rest (in which you can be totally spontaneous) you have to plan ahead. Before Sunday, get the grocery shopping and household chores done (with help from your family!!). Make enough for dinner on Friday and Saturday that you can eat leftovers on Sunday. Clean the house the day before. But if you don’t get everything done, let it go. Just stop, whether you’re fully prepared or not.

4.      Make worship the focus. If we make Sabbath only about us and our need for rest and rejuvenation, we won’t sustain the practice. While Sabbath is a gift, it’s also a day to focus on God. Plan to attend church. Take time during your 24 hours to be grateful. You can do this in private prayer, or have your family share around the dinner table what they were thankful for during the week.

5.      Sleep! Many of us are sleep-deprived. Why? We’ve said yes to too many things, or we believe way too strongly in our own importance. It may be that the first step toward Sabbath practice in your life is to give yourself the gift of a full night of sleep at least that one night.

6.      Start at sundown. If your Sabbath day is Sunday, it actually begins at sundown on Saturday. At that time, simply stop. Set aside your work, knowing it will be there in 24 hours. Your Sabbath might begin with a meal with friends or family. Take your time, make it leisurely. Have conversation, chew your food, savor the experience. Hang out with the people you love. Then go to bed, get up and go to church, and you’ve already made it through half a Sabbath! If this is all you can manage, that’s a starting point. Sabbath ends, then, as the sun sets on Sunday, which will give you some time to prepare for the week ahead if you need it.

7.      Find your joy. Sabbath rest doesn’t mean sitting around watching the walls. Rather than focusing on what you cannot do, think about what you have freedom from, and what you can do with that freedom. Play is a big part of Sabbath practice.  We experience joy and praise God for the beauty of his creation when we are on the water. Take a walk or go for a run. Read a book. Call a friend and really listen. Play with your children. Take a nap without feeling guilty. Pray without watching the clock, because there is nowhere else you need to be.

8.      Lean hard into grace. Like any spiritual practice, Sabbath-keeping won’t always go perfectly. Some weeks will be better than others. There are times when your best intentions will go up in flames and your attempts to rest will fail. That’s okay. God’s grace is sufficient. Know that you will get a chance to try again next week, and don’t give up! And if it does go well, don’t let yourself get legalistic or proud. This is not something you’re doing to impress God or anyone else. (For more on Sabbath and her ministry, visit www.SabbathSimplicity.com.)

So, I call upon the members of my community here in Northeast Ohio to cease the foolishness of taking one night out of the year to rest and relax with family. Instead, let us embrace the true discipline of Sabbath rest breathing in deeply the rhythms of life - of action and of rest. As Mohandas Gandhi once penned: "There is more to life than merely increasing its speed."

Love One Another - Brian